Scars..Pain..N Tired..

Just now, my hand purposely(My mind keep asking me don't) click on some site which I keep on avoid for past few months..
I thought the wound that hurts me last time are now healed,leaving a scar there..
I thought my heart now is much better after starting a new life here..
I thought I'm happy now..
But wrong..

The reality is the scar is still there..
Still hurting when the memories are back..
Still will turn into terrible wound..
I feel like crying now..but I can't..I must continue to wear a smiling mask and continue my life..
Why can't me be myself?
Is there anyone there to accept me even after I take off the smiling mask?
I tried to take one step further, but no one willing to take another step to accept me..
My heart is ready to accept, but no one is ready to accept me..
So, what can I do?
I'm tired..
And, I want to cry out loud..