Assignments,study,and a lot of new things I experienced in this few weeks time.
Failure in relationship really let me have a very hard time in this few weeks.Thought that my very best friend will support me,but well,I failed in friendship too.
Maybe he is too busy? Or maybe cause we are too far from each other? Or maybe because he got a gf, then I’m something that no need to care of any more? Well, I am some one that always been ignored by others.
Failed in relationship,friendship..is there any things else I can do?I can’t even find a person to really talk heart to heart when I’m down and stress.Knowing that no one will support me when I need,cheer me up when I’m down,scold me when I’m blur,let me depend and sleep on when I’m tired,accompany and talk to me when I’m alone.Knowing myself is alone,is something new for me^^
Of course I met a lot of new friends in this new environment.We joke,we play,we sing,we study,we eat together.But well,we just know each other for a bout 1 month.I really do not dare to disturb them and do things to extreme.If not,things might turn out bad,right?
That’s why I keep on phone my old friends to talk when I really need to talk.But,we just talk. Still remember my old days when I talked with her and him,I’ll feel so relax and forget everything once I listen to their voice.Do they know some kind of magic that let me feel relax and happy?I don’t know.This is what others can’t give to me besides from them.
A guy,the guy I met in the 1st day of my orientation,who is my best friend in here.Give me advices when I need,kinda like scold me when I’m blur,a very good friend, right?Frankly, I’m a person who likes to use my feeling to know friends.And he is the only one who give me the feeling which same with my very best friend.Think of really use all my heart to treat him.
His relationship thingy is some where between the ship and port,sweet right?This is the main factor that really stops me from stepping in deeper and deeper.Is he a guy that after in relationship, will ignore everything?I don’t know. If no, then it’s ok. But how if it’s yes? I’ll get hurt again.
But things always turn out from my expectation.Before I realize,I already treat him with my heart.Should I take it back as soon as possible?
I don’t want to be hurt any more.My heart now really can’t stand more attack.Losing 2 most important people in my life in almost the same time is something worst then heart attack.My heart now,does nothing else besides from doing daily function so that I can continue to live.
Why people I love won’t love me?Why people I care won’t care me?
Hope my vein now is filling with cold blood instead of warm blood;hope my heart is made from cold diamond so that it will not be hurt n break so easily.
An angel,symbolizes hopes.Once,I was an angel,with her and him beside me like my wings.But now,they leave me and my wings broke down.An angel who can’t fly again is what we call fallen angel,or Omen Child is a nicer name to call.
Where are my wings?When will my new wings grow?Can I back to my heaven?
I don’t know,but what I can say is:“I really miss and need both of you, my wings….”
It’s really hard for an angel to leave on earth without 2 of his wings.
Or maybe I should pray more so that my new wings can grow?
“Please grow,my new wings,I need you..”
“Where are you, my old wings?I miss and need you..”
When can I get my answer?Only God knows…
2 comments:
As you have said, angel symbolises hope. You know why it is named LightzOfHope and what is the symbol for. It is a place for all of us to share our experience and feelings, although it might not be in the form of reality, but virtual. It is the human nature, to be gather or unite under a group or constitution. Ever think if the is no LightzOfHope, will the relationship of all of us that good ever since?
He might be your best friend, but when he is in relationship with other, you need to leave some of the time of you two to the others. If he is really your best friend, you should have willing to sacrifise some of the time of you two, as you cannot control who he wants to befriend with.
yup..
as u said...
I'm controlling myself^^
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