Kinda weird,right?
I just need a place where i can express how I feel,how I think without letting people around me know about it.
Just started my university life 2 weeks ago.At 1st,I very enjoy it.Freedom is the thing that make me enjoy this kind of life.No more curfew,no more asking permission of doing this and that,can decide what time i should wake/sleep,what time i should go for lunch/dinner and etc.
But,as days past,I found that staying alone far away from hometown,is quite suffering.Tuition fees,loan application,living cost,friends,assignments/projects are really driving me crazy.
Tuition fees/loan application-Tuition fees need to pay in lum sum for each semester,how should i get so much of money from ATM(I can only withdraw maximum rm1k everyday)?Is there any one who will bring rm6k+ in their wallet?I don't think so.So,I need a cheque.But,I can't sign a cheque,I need my mum to sign it.And my mum is staying in my hometown which is 5 hours+ away from me.Fedex?I'm staying in hostel.Troublesome right?
Assignments/Projects-During the 1st day of my class,a lecturer told us the whole course outline,individual/group assignments which we need to complete for this semester.Does the lecturer ever considered that,by this,I'm very blur on what we are going to do,very fear of it(due to my poor english),feel so stress and frustrated.Especially we need to write a 300words+ reflective journal everyweek for the class,this is going to kill me!!Until now,I have no idea how should i write it,design it,so that i can score it.
Friends-Met a lot of new friends after i came here.All of them are very nice,very care of me(especially after they knew that I came here alone),introduced me to their friends,borrowed me novels to read,movies to watch,bring me to walk around,shopping.Very good,right?But there are few who in class,tried to avoid in the same group with me for group assignments(mostly due to my poor english since they are so good in english)PS:This is just how I feel.Sometimes,I keep on wondering:Are them using me?As a thing to spend their time..?Hope they are not,and hope it's all just my stupid feeling.
There is one person who told me:"Don't too stick with me,go to know more friends."This really hurt,although I just get to know him for 2 weeks,but I do really treat him with my heart.Hmm,dunno..but i'm a person who prefer to stick with those I more familiar with when I'm in a new n unknown environment.And,I'm not that kind which can get to know stranger easily.Nothing wrong,right?
I know that he is the kind that like to mix and get to know with new friends.Well,maybe I am the one who did the wrong things?
And,there is a guy who is younger than me,but with a very extremely mature thinking.When with him,I felt so stress about his maturity.I felt i'm so childish although i'm older than him.So,i keep on pushing myself forwards so that I can compete with him.Am i doing the wrong thing?I also don't know.Can any one tell me?
But,no matter how,I still need to thanks him since he treat me really good.I really do appreciate him,and he is my ever 1st friend in this university.Maybe he do not know that i blog at here,but still i need to say"Thanks for everything!"
And,after I came here,I found that what i can't really put down in my hometown,now I'm not so stubborn to hold it tight anymore.Since there are so many friends who care about me in here,no points I hold on to some one who don't even care of me,right?
I know,I know.This blog is way too long,I don't think there is any one who can patiently finish reading it.But,at least I feel much more better now after I write out everything.Wish myself luck in the future of my uni's life!
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